Category Archives: Guest Blogging

101 Things I Will Teach My Daughters


  1. Chocolate is only a temporary fix.
  2. A properly-fitting bra is not a luxury. It is a necessity.
  3. Your happiness is your happiness and yours alone.
  4. How to apply red lipstick.
  5. How to wear the crap out of red lipstick.
  6. A boyfriend does not validate your existence.
  7. Eat the extra slice of pizza.
  8. Wear what makes you feel gracefully at ease.
  9. Love the world unconditionally.
  10. Seek beauty in all things.
  11. Buy your friends dinner when you can.
  12. Wear sunscreen like it’s your second job.
  13. Try with all your might to keep in contact with far-away friends.
  14. Make the world feel at ease around you.
  15. Walk with your head up.
  16. Order a cheeseburger on the first date if you want to.
  17. Never, ever bite your nails.
  18. Swipe on some lipstick, put on your leather jacket, and sneak into a bar somewhere.
  19. Learn from your mistakes that night.
  20. Dental hygiene is not multiple choice.
  21. Your GPA is not a confession of your character.
  22. There is strength in breaking down.
  23. You don’t have to like yoga.
  24. Pick a tea.
  25. Take care of your feet.
  26. Pick a perfume.
  27. Even if you’re tall, wear the heels anyway.
  28. Classy is a relative term.
  29. Drink whiskey if you like whiskey.
  30. Drink wine if you like wine.
  31. Like what you like.
  32. Offer no explanation.
  33. Advil and Gatorade.
  34. You are no less of a woman when you’re in sweats and gym shoes than a woman in stilettos and a pencil skirt.
  35. A woman is a woman is a woman.
  36. Love your fellow woman with all your heart and soul.
  37. Cry, uninhibited, with your friends.
  38. Laugh until you can’t breathe with your friends.
  39. Tell me everything.
  40. Exercise to be strong and healthy. A beautiful soul needs a sturdy vessel.
  41. There is no shame in hoping for love.
  42. My cooking is the best cooking.
  43. Do not take sex lightly.
  44. I mean it.
  45. Anna Karenina. I’d like it if you read it.
  46. The world spins on the principle of inherent tragedy.
  47. Do not be blind to it.
  48. Men are effectively idiots until the age of 26.
  49. Carbohydrates are not the enemy.
  50. Involve yourself in an organized activity of your choosing.
  51. Listen to classical music occasionally.
  52. Take hot baths.
  53. Do not use bath salts.
  54. You are more than capable.
  55. I promise.
  56. Don’t smile if you don’t mean it.
  57. Mean your anger. Mean your sadness. Mean your pain.
  58. I am always, always listening.
  59. Travel.
  60. Get stuck in a foreign country with $4.67 in your account.
  61. Make me furious.
  62. Make me worry.
  63. Come home smelly, tired, and with a good story.
  64. Your story isn’t really yours.
  65. You are a compilation of others’ stories.
  66. Well-fitting and modest is ALWAYS sexier than too small and tight.
  67. Who cares if glitter isn’t tasteful?
  68. It’s too much eyeliner if you have to ask.
  69. Learn to bake for when you’re sad and I’m not there.
  70. Humility and subservience are not synonyms.
  71. Wash your face twice per day.
  72. Be gentle with your skin.
  73. Science is really cool.
  74. So is literature.
  75. And history.
  76. And math.
  77. There is no substitute for fresh air.
  78. Carry your weight.
  79. Make up for it later if you can’t.
  80. That salad is not better than pasta and it never will be.
  81. You’re fooling no one.
  82. Find at least three green vegetables you can tolerate.
  83. A smoothie is not a meal.
  84. Expect the best from everyone.
  85. People will let you down.
  86. Bask in the sun (wearing a sunhat and SPF 90).
  87. There is a certain kind of man you need to avoid at all costs.
  88. You’ll know it when you meet him.
  89. What other people say is right doesn’t always feel right.
  90. What feels right is where your happiness is.
  91. Give thoughtful gifts.
  92. Form an opinion.
  93. Stick to it.
  94. Exfoliation in moderation.
  95. Argue with people when you need to.
  96. If it’s worth fighting for, fight fiercely.
  97. Don’t fight for acceptance.
  98. You shouldn’t have to.
  99. Take pictures, but not too many.
  100. Follow your bliss at all costs. (I’m cutting you off at 22, though).
  101. Chocolate ice cream, however, might just be a permanent fix.

Borrowed from ThoughtCatalog


10 Easy To Miss Signs He’ll Never Commit

January 23, 2014 ‐ By Julia Austin


There are the obvious signs you’re being strung along, like he’s dating somebody else, he only calls you to hang out at 2 am and he’s never introduced you to any of his friends. But some signs that a man will never commit aren’t so obvious—in fact, women will make excuses, saying the behavior is normal.


If you get drunk and pass out in your male friend’s bed, your boyfriend doesn’t bat an eyelash. If you sit on another guy’s lap at a party, your guy doesn’t care. If you’re at the office late alone, working on a project with a cute male coworker, your guy doesn’t complain one bit.


Of course you ignore it! It’s awesome to have a boyfriend who is so NOT controlling. But the truth is, if a guy is in love with you, he doesn’t want you sitting on other guys’ laps. But if he has no plans to commit, he isn’t going to start a fuss over it because that sends you the impression he cares more than he does.


If he said he was going to come over, but his meeting got out just an hour later than he’d expected, he says he wants to go home instead because it’s getting late and he needs his sleep. If you’re in his neighborhood by chance and ask to stop by, he says he was about to go to the gym and doesn’t want to miss a workout.


You want to be “understanding” and “chill” and hey, you get it: sleep is important and exercise is important! But come on! If a guy plans on making you a real part of his life, he understands he


He goes to a friend’s birthday party and doesn’t invite you. You find out later other girlfriends were there.


You get it: sometimes he just wants time with his friends without you. You don’t want to be clingy–he doesn’t have to invite you everywhere. But hold up: if other girlfriends were there, he should have invited you. If he planned on keeping you around, he’d realize it was embarrassing for you to clearly not be invited when plus ones were welcome.


He’s never taken you to one of his basketball games, or to his chess group, or to the Sunday brunch meet-up group he’s a part of. There are a lot of regular activities he does that you’re never included in.


You tell yourself that it’s healthy to have activities all to yourself—it helps a person maintain their individual identity inside of a relationship. But, a guy can still share his hobbies with you a little bit without losing his identity. If he absolutely refuses to share them with you, it could be because he doesn’t plan on being with you forever, and doesn’t want you infiltrating those areas of his life.


You could be screaming at him, insulting him or bawling your eyes out and he remains quiet, or just agrees with everything you say, or leaves saying, “Let me know when you’ve calmed down.”


You say maybe he just doesn’t want to fight because he feels it drives you two apart. But, a guy who plans on being with you for the long haul cares a lot about what you think about him, and how he makes you feel! He would never let you criticize him without defending himself, and he would never watch you cry without wanting to fix it. Meanwhile, a guy who doesn’t plan on sticking around won’t exert any energy into fighting.


Your parents have offered to introduce your boyfriend to their broker, their real estate agent, professional contacts they think would be great for him or a friend who has a vacation house he could stay in. But he always turns them down.


You tell yourself he is just very independent and is uncomfortable accepting help. You tell yourself he doesn’t want to be a bother to your parents. In reality, he probably feels guilty having people go out of their way for him, when he knows pretty soon those people won’t even be in his life.


He tells you he’s going to travel around the world for three months, or that he’s quit his job, or that he is moving apartments next week. He doesn’t ask for your input.


You want to be the “cool” girlfriend so you just tell yourself, “I’m not his boss! He’s a grown man! Good for him that he’s traveling for three months…! He can go find himself and learn new things…!” Oh please. Because you won’t admit it to yourself I’ll say it for you: a man should want to bring you on that trip for three months or at the very, very least, want to discuss it with you to make sure he wouldn’t be missing any big events in your life, or to give you the option to say, “I’ll miss you so much! Can’t you just make it two months?” And he should want your opinion on the apartment he’s moving into if he plans on you spending tons of time there! It’s not too much for you to ask to be included in these decisions.


When you go to parties or events together, you find yourself alone for most of the time. He’ll pass by you with a drink and plate of food, but he never offered to get you one. He’ll wave at you from a circle of people, but won’t wave you over.


You say to yourself, “It’s good we’re not one of those couples attached at the hip! I’m happy we’re not one of those annoying couples who is afraid to socialize without the other one.” Okay, yeah…but even the “cool” couples check in with one another. Even in the “independent” couples the guy never goes to the bar without offering to get his girlfriend something. But, if in your guy’s head he is unattached (or soon to be), he’s curious about meeting tons of people without you at parties.


He won’t accept it when you say you’re tired or just not in the mood. He acts like an indignant college boy, continuing to bother you while you try to sleep, and even getting noticeably annoyed that you won’t have sex with him.


You say, “Oh, he’s just a guy! They’re animals! They’re all like that!” UM…that’s not just being an “animal.” That’s almost sexual molestation. You should be able to sleep in peace. A guy who plans on being with you for a long time can let a few nights without sex go by because he knows there will be plenty of time for that in the future. But a guy who sees an expiration date on this relationship wants to get in all the free play he can, before he’s out hunting at bars again.


Any time you’ve asked him for a ride to the airport, or to stop by your house and feed your dog because your meeting was running late, or to pick up your prescription because the pharmacy was about to close and you were stuck in traffic, he had an excuse not to.


You tell yourself, “I’m a grown woman. I should do those things myself. I shouldn’t be depending on a man anyways.” Accepting help does not mean you’re depending on somebody! And if you think of it, there have probably been dozens of times he’s asked you to do him a favor, and you’ve done it even though you had better reasons not to, than the reasons he’s giving you. When you care about someone, you don’t find excuses: you find a way.

See more at: MadameNoire

Eastern Tryst

I bumped into him at the airport this afternoon. Yes him, in all his maleness. I haven’t seen him in nearly a year and could not believe that he was here, in Port Harcourt, for the International Film Festival as I was too. I hugged him tight and kissed his cheek just to feel that all too familiar soft beard, just to smell that scent that was all to Him. That touch, that smell always led to one thing, that all too familiar tightening down there, that pool of sweet wetness, waiting for him. He was this only one that could make me this wet this quickly, all because of his touch, his scent. He was my nemesis. He helped me with my luggage, drove me to my  hotel, The Presidential and stayed to chat for a while. He was always a gentleman, that was what attracted me to him. That gentleman facade that he showed the whole world until I have him between my sheets. I had that power over him. He stole a kiss before he left. I would have asked for it back but neither of us wanted to start what we couldn’t finish. There was plenty of time later. Tonight.

After he left, I ran myself a bath, got undressed and stepped into the warm water. Aah, nice. TV on low volume, music pouring softly from speakers I can’t see and a glass of wine in hand, he is not here but Bob is. I know you are wondering who Bob is. Bob is my travel buddy, my very own stress therapy, my battery operated boyfriend (BOB). My amazing 6+ inches of personally controlled orgasm-maker, in leopard print. He, yes he, bought it for me the last time we were together. I purposely had nothing planned for this evening so I could relax after the day’s travel. But I was suddenly bored and restless. The throbbing between my thighs would not stop. I flicked through the channels on TV, nothing of interest. So I called him and asked if he wanted to play. He said yes, to which I replied, ‘bring a condom, and some toys’.

20 minutes later, there was a knock on my door, I pulled the door open in time to see him grinning from ear to ear, on one of his hands was something that looked like a vibrating cock ring but smaller, on the other was a condom. I slid my gaze past his hand to peek underneath his waistband, to see that he was definitely very happy to see me. I love that I do that to him.  I grabbed his right hand to dragged him into the room. I was wearing my favourite bra. A dark blue lace bra that showed off way more than it covered up, paired with black, crotch-less panties and finished off with burgundy red heels to match my lipstick. We kissed passionately, each of us desperately hungry for the other, biting, tasting, licking, loving. He reached out to caress my boobs, rubbing both my nipples between his thumbs and forefingers and my legs could no longer hold me up. He chuckled quietly which made me smack his firm, hard bum. That made him laugh out loud. He, in turn, punished me by pulling my left nipple into his mouth, at the same time carrying me to the bed. All this while, he teased my nipple with is tongue, teeth and mouth. My man has skills.

He then proceeded to focus his mouth on my other breast, keeping both of my hands fastened in one of his and rubbing the breast he just left with his free hand. It was impossible for me to keep still as the ache intensified. I needed him to feel me, but he wanted to have me his way. He wanted to pleasure me. I tried reached out to caress his pulsing dick but his hold on my wrist would not budge. He lifted his head to ask, ‘Have you missed me?’, and without giving me a chance to reply, he proceeded to kiss his way down my chest to my stomach, all the way to there. The first touch of his lips on my clit sent shock waves through me, all the way down to my toes. He kissed, he licked and he sucked until I nearly came undone only for him to stop, just there, leaving me panting, wanting more. He reached over to the night stand to grab something quickly. My inner venus jumped for joy because I thought, no, I hoped that he was grabbing a condom but then I realized that he still had his jeans on. Then I remembered that he had asked me to choose earlier when I had grabbed his hands to drag him in but I had no idea what I was choosing. It looked like a cock ring but much smaller. He slipped it over his tongue and turned it on. Then he got on his knees and flicked his now vibrating tongue over my clit. The pleasure made me buckle off the bed. He pinned my hips down with one arm and with his order hand, he slipped one finger, then two and three inside me, in and out, imitating our dance of old, finger fucking me all the while licking and sucking me with his vibrating tongue. I felt that familiar tightening inside me and came apart in his mouth before could stop myself, my juice running down his chin. I was spent. He lifted himself up so he could see my face, and I saw that smile of complete satisfaction on his face because now he knows just exactly how much I have missed him, how much I needed that. I pulled his face down and kissed him with all the strength I had left, branding him as mine.

He wasn’t done with me yet. I could still feel the spasms from my orgasm racking through my body sporadically, when he stripped off his jeans, grabbed my hips and entered me in one single move. I locked my legs around his waist at the ankles because I was not prepared to let him go anytime soon. He paused for a moment to let me adjust to him inside me, filling me until there was no more me and no more him. I did not know where he ended or I began. And then he began to move gently inside me, pulling out and in slowly and repeatedly. I could feel the heat building again inside me. He knew and I knew that another orgasm was near and this time, I did not want to ride solo. So I pulled out the tricks I knew, I pulled myself up to suck his nipples just as he had sucked mine, pulling the tight bud into my mouth, teasing, biting, sucking until I felt him begin to shudder. He began to move faster, and I met every stroke, grinding my hips against his, tightening myself to him until I came all over again. He slammed into me one more time and I felt him come. He laid on top of me, and I held him in my arms until the shudders stopped. I felt like a million dollars. We laid together like that for what seemed like eternity, until he lifted up his head to kiss me, long and slow and deep. He hadn’t pulled out of my and I felt him being to harden inside me. He rolled over to lay on his back, taking me with him, still joined to him. I pulled out of him to removed the condom to clean him up.  The cleaning got trickier the harder he became so I pulled him into my mouth, using my tongue to stroke from top to bottom while my hand worked the trail my tongue left. With my other hand, I stroked his balls gently while pulling him deep into my mouth. I could hear him moaning and and groaning and that just made me feel powerful. “Ride me baby”, he said but I ignored him because I wanted him beg for more.

He begged me again softly and kissed him deeply on the mouth while guiding him inside me, filling me and touching my core, ooh I was in heaven. I straddled him and adjusted my seat to accommodate him fully. He grabbed my waist with one hand to control the motion, and with his other hand, he stroked my very sensitive clit. Now it was my turn to beg. I couldn’t take much more of this pleasure. I could feel myself squirting, soaking him in my juice. He said, ‘say it baby’. I knew what he was asking for but I fought the need to ask for the release that he knows I desperately crave for. I wanted him to stop and then not stop. I tried to concentrate on the motions of him inside me so I wouldn’t cum yet. He grabbed the Vibrating Tongue Ring, looped it over his first and middle finger and stroked my clit with it. I couldn’t take much more. Again he said, ‘Say it, baby’ huskily this time. I knew we both needed this together so I told him what I needed, what he wanted to hear. ‘Make me come, please make me cum’.  His strokes intensified inside me and he stayed the Vibrating Ring directly on my clit, I came apart for a fourth time that evening in his arms, on top of him and he followed immediately after. I thought I would faint. We laid spent like that, sweaty and smelling of glorious after sex.

Tomorrow, we will both be back to our normal lives and busy schedules, work lunches and dinner appointments but for now, in this moment, laying in each other’s arms, we reveled in our eastern tryst, giving no thoughts to what lies after.