Tag Archives: african woman

8 signs you are a side chick

Being a side chick usually isn’t by choice. Often times men make women side chicks without their knowing and these women end up getting hurt when they discover they aren’t ‘the one’. So if you think your man isn’t being straight with you, here are seven signs that you may be a side chick.download36

1. His house is a CIA secret

You’ve never been invited to his house for a date. You have no idea what his house looks like or where he even lives, despite the fact that you two have been dating for months now. When a guy is entirely uninterested or unwilling to show you his home or invite you into it, it’s likely because he shares his home with another woman. He doesn’t want to get caught in his lie anthere’s not enough time to hide the evidence and then put everything back into its place.woman-sad-couple

2.  He never spends the night.

That’s because his time is being accounted for by another woman. He has to be home by a certain time, or even if his woman knows he’s cheating, all she cares about is that he comes home every night.black-couple-laying-on-bed

3. His phone never leaves his sight

Men who are players tend to be highly protective of their phones. He has a password on his phone and makes sure to lock it after every time he uses it. When the phone rings, he either goes into another room to take the call, ignores it completely, or turns the volume down super low so that you can’t possibly hear a thing that is being said.black-man-cheating

4. He doesn’t show up when he’s supposed to  

Let’s just say he does make plans with you, but constantly stands you up with no explanations or apologies. If he gets ghost a lot, that’s a serious red flag.woman waiting for her date


5. You’ve never met his parents or friends

Most men who are proud and happy with their relationship will eventually introduce their girlfriend to his parents and/or his friends. If you have never met, let alone spoken to his parents or friends, this is a huge sign that you can’t be known amongst his inner circles. Why? Because he’d immediately be ousted as a cheater and a player.black-couple2

6. He NEVER talks about the future

Asking him about his views on the future of your relationship is like pulling teeth. Simply put, this guy doesn’t want to think about the future because he really isn’t planning one. In his mind he’s probably well aware that keeping you as the other woman won’t last for too long, so why plan on a future at all?African_couple_arguing_in_bed_GOGOCAA00446-e1324034198374

7. You aren’t on any of his social media pages

Somewhere in convenient survey land is a stat that shows Facebook and Twitter is the fastest growing catalyst for failed relationships. It’s very easy to get caught slipping on such Social Networks which is why if a guy refuses to acknowledge you on his timeline he’s trying to hide your affiliation. This same guy may also disable his facebook wall to prevent your inevitable declaration of crush on him. Typical excuses include “I’m not saying that I don’t want people to know about us, I just don’t like to air out my business”<— relatable BUT where some guys are genuine with this others know what they’re doing when dealing with a side chickstop-friends-from-asking-you-what-your-relationship-status-is-facebook.w654

8. Your relationship is almost entirely physical

When he compliments you, it’s about how nice your body is or how good you are in bed. When you two spend time together, it usually ends up between the sheets. He doesn’t wine and dine you often but instead focuses more on having you and getting out. When a guy refuses to connect with you on a mental or emotional level, it could be because he’s already connected that way with his main woman.Black-couple-kissing-2


If you consciously go into a relationship knowing that you are the side chick, then good luck! But if that’s not your goal, please know that you deserve and are worth much more than what he is giving you.


101 Things I Will Teach My Daughters


  1. Chocolate is only a temporary fix.
  2. A properly-fitting bra is not a luxury. It is a necessity.
  3. Your happiness is your happiness and yours alone.
  4. How to apply red lipstick.
  5. How to wear the crap out of red lipstick.
  6. A boyfriend does not validate your existence.
  7. Eat the extra slice of pizza.
  8. Wear what makes you feel gracefully at ease.
  9. Love the world unconditionally.
  10. Seek beauty in all things.
  11. Buy your friends dinner when you can.
  12. Wear sunscreen like it’s your second job.
  13. Try with all your might to keep in contact with far-away friends.
  14. Make the world feel at ease around you.
  15. Walk with your head up.
  16. Order a cheeseburger on the first date if you want to.
  17. Never, ever bite your nails.
  18. Swipe on some lipstick, put on your leather jacket, and sneak into a bar somewhere.
  19. Learn from your mistakes that night.
  20. Dental hygiene is not multiple choice.
  21. Your GPA is not a confession of your character.
  22. There is strength in breaking down.
  23. You don’t have to like yoga.
  24. Pick a tea.
  25. Take care of your feet.
  26. Pick a perfume.
  27. Even if you’re tall, wear the heels anyway.
  28. Classy is a relative term.
  29. Drink whiskey if you like whiskey.
  30. Drink wine if you like wine.
  31. Like what you like.
  32. Offer no explanation.
  33. Advil and Gatorade.
  34. You are no less of a woman when you’re in sweats and gym shoes than a woman in stilettos and a pencil skirt.
  35. A woman is a woman is a woman.
  36. Love your fellow woman with all your heart and soul.
  37. Cry, uninhibited, with your friends.
  38. Laugh until you can’t breathe with your friends.
  39. Tell me everything.
  40. Exercise to be strong and healthy. A beautiful soul needs a sturdy vessel.
  41. There is no shame in hoping for love.
  42. My cooking is the best cooking.
  43. Do not take sex lightly.
  44. I mean it.
  45. Anna Karenina. I’d like it if you read it.
  46. The world spins on the principle of inherent tragedy.
  47. Do not be blind to it.
  48. Men are effectively idiots until the age of 26.
  49. Carbohydrates are not the enemy.
  50. Involve yourself in an organized activity of your choosing.
  51. Listen to classical music occasionally.
  52. Take hot baths.
  53. Do not use bath salts.
  54. You are more than capable.
  55. I promise.
  56. Don’t smile if you don’t mean it.
  57. Mean your anger. Mean your sadness. Mean your pain.
  58. I am always, always listening.
  59. Travel.
  60. Get stuck in a foreign country with $4.67 in your account.
  61. Make me furious.
  62. Make me worry.
  63. Come home smelly, tired, and with a good story.
  64. Your story isn’t really yours.
  65. You are a compilation of others’ stories.
  66. Well-fitting and modest is ALWAYS sexier than too small and tight.
  67. Who cares if glitter isn’t tasteful?
  68. It’s too much eyeliner if you have to ask.
  69. Learn to bake for when you’re sad and I’m not there.
  70. Humility and subservience are not synonyms.
  71. Wash your face twice per day.
  72. Be gentle with your skin.
  73. Science is really cool.
  74. So is literature.
  75. And history.
  76. And math.
  77. There is no substitute for fresh air.
  78. Carry your weight.
  79. Make up for it later if you can’t.
  80. That salad is not better than pasta and it never will be.
  81. You’re fooling no one.
  82. Find at least three green vegetables you can tolerate.
  83. A smoothie is not a meal.
  84. Expect the best from everyone.
  85. People will let you down.
  86. Bask in the sun (wearing a sunhat and SPF 90).
  87. There is a certain kind of man you need to avoid at all costs.
  88. You’ll know it when you meet him.
  89. What other people say is right doesn’t always feel right.
  90. What feels right is where your happiness is.
  91. Give thoughtful gifts.
  92. Form an opinion.
  93. Stick to it.
  94. Exfoliation in moderation.
  95. Argue with people when you need to.
  96. If it’s worth fighting for, fight fiercely.
  97. Don’t fight for acceptance.
  98. You shouldn’t have to.
  99. Take pictures, but not too many.
  100. Follow your bliss at all costs. (I’m cutting you off at 22, though).
  101. Chocolate ice cream, however, might just be a permanent fix.

Borrowed from ThoughtCatalog