Tag Archives: relationship

8 signs you are a side chick

Being a side chick usually isn’t by choice. Often times men make women side chicks without their knowing and these women end up getting hurt when they discover they aren’t ‘the one’. So if you think your man isn’t being straight with you, here are seven signs that you may be a side chick.download36

1. His house is a CIA secret

You’ve never been invited to his house for a date. You have no idea what his house looks like or where he even lives, despite the fact that you two have been dating for months now. When a guy is entirely uninterested or unwilling to show you his home or invite you into it, it’s likely because he shares his home with another woman. He doesn’t want to get caught in his lie anthere’s not enough time to hide the evidence and then put everything back into its place.woman-sad-couple

2.  He never spends the night.

That’s because his time is being accounted for by another woman. He has to be home by a certain time, or even if his woman knows he’s cheating, all she cares about is that he comes home every night.black-couple-laying-on-bed

3. His phone never leaves his sight

Men who are players tend to be highly protective of their phones. He has a password on his phone and makes sure to lock it after every time he uses it. When the phone rings, he either goes into another room to take the call, ignores it completely, or turns the volume down super low so that you can’t possibly hear a thing that is being said.black-man-cheating

4. He doesn’t show up when he’s supposed to  

Let’s just say he does make plans with you, but constantly stands you up with no explanations or apologies. If he gets ghost a lot, that’s a serious red flag.woman waiting for her date

 

5. You’ve never met his parents or friends

Most men who are proud and happy with their relationship will eventually introduce their girlfriend to his parents and/or his friends. If you have never met, let alone spoken to his parents or friends, this is a huge sign that you can’t be known amongst his inner circles. Why? Because he’d immediately be ousted as a cheater and a player.black-couple2

6. He NEVER talks about the future

Asking him about his views on the future of your relationship is like pulling teeth. Simply put, this guy doesn’t want to think about the future because he really isn’t planning one. In his mind he’s probably well aware that keeping you as the other woman won’t last for too long, so why plan on a future at all?African_couple_arguing_in_bed_GOGOCAA00446-e1324034198374

7. You aren’t on any of his social media pages

Somewhere in convenient survey land is a stat that shows Facebook and Twitter is the fastest growing catalyst for failed relationships. It’s very easy to get caught slipping on such Social Networks which is why if a guy refuses to acknowledge you on his timeline he’s trying to hide your affiliation. This same guy may also disable his facebook wall to prevent your inevitable declaration of crush on him. Typical excuses include “I’m not saying that I don’t want people to know about us, I just don’t like to air out my business”<— relatable BUT where some guys are genuine with this others know what they’re doing when dealing with a side chickstop-friends-from-asking-you-what-your-relationship-status-is-facebook.w654

8. Your relationship is almost entirely physical

When he compliments you, it’s about how nice your body is or how good you are in bed. When you two spend time together, it usually ends up between the sheets. He doesn’t wine and dine you often but instead focuses more on having you and getting out. When a guy refuses to connect with you on a mental or emotional level, it could be because he’s already connected that way with his main woman.Black-couple-kissing-2

 

If you consciously go into a relationship knowing that you are the side chick, then good luck! But if that’s not your goal, please know that you deserve and are worth much more than what he is giving you.

 

12 subtle things that make men go crazy over their women

If you are wondering some things your man loves about you but hasn’t told you, here are some clues to what he thinks about when he looks at you

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According to writer/speaker James Michael Sama, when a man is falling in love with a woman, there are many small or less obvious things about her and her personality that will bring a smile — not only to his face, but also to his heart.

If you are wondering some things your man loves about you but hasn’t told you, here are some clues to what he thinks about when he looks at you:

  1. He loves the way he smiles when he thinks about you: It doesn’t matter if he’s stressed out at work, stuck in traffic, or just bored scrolling through Facebook. If a man is lucky, he will have a woman come into his life who can make him smile without even being in the same zip code. Just the thought of her or hearing her name will light him up like fireworks on the 4th of July. What’s not to love about that?

  2. He loves when he makes you smile: Have you ever noticed a guy who seemed to pick up  momentum when he’s being funny? Even sorta-semi-funny, but not really, but damn he was trying? A man loves to see the woman in his life smiling, laughing, and having a good time. And even more, he loves to be the source of that smile, even if it means making dumb jokes for her to laugh at.

  3. He loves being physically close to you: Whether the two of you are cuddled up on the couch or standing next to each other waiting for your cab, a man loves being close to the woman in his life. It’s a great way to feel connected with someone — physically and emotionally. It’s hard to beat the feeling of the woman you care about laying on your chest or resting her head on your shoulder. Don’t ask me why, it’s just science.

  4. He loves when you play with his hair while he’s driving: I wish I could give you a reason for this, but all I can say is that it’s the best thing ever.

  5. He loves the way you smile after he kisses you: You know that euphoric rush that comes over you when you kiss the right person? That feeling of endorphins and emotions that seems to take you over? That spark you feel when you kiss him or her? Sometimes, there’s no other reaction to that feeling than to just … smile.

  6. He loves when he catches you looking at him: Men, like anyone else, crave the feeling of being wanted. Many times, we’re the pursuers in a relationship and we feel as though we’re constantly trying to prove ourselves in order to get attention, a first date, a second date. You get the idea. When we’re with a woman who we feel really wants to be with us — who gives us the same affection and effort we give her, who we feel might just fall in love with us — there’s no better feeling in the world.

  7. He loves when you do that funny little thing you probably don’t even know you do: Maybe you crinkle your nose when you laugh, or maybe you hit him on the shoulder when you’re (a little) mad. Maybe you play with your hair when you get a little nervous. Whatever it is, you may just do it naturally, but he notices. He notices because that’s one of the many little things separating you from any other woman he’s ever met. And he loves it.

  8. He loves how natural things feel with you: was going to call this “He loves how he doesn’t have to try” to convey the idea that things should come easily, but obviously, every man (and woman) has to put in consistent effort and “try” to make a relationship work. Two people can just be completely comfortable together and their relationship will feel natural. They’ll be content, but not in a complacent, bored way. They’ll be content in a deep sigh, and look into each other’s eyes and think, “So, this is how it’s supposed to be …”

  9. He loves going to you for advice: When you really respect someone for who they are and the things they think, you value their opinion in ways that trump the thoughts of others. You want to get their advice. You want to hear what they think about your latest conundrum. You want to get their input and perspective. If the man in your life not only asks for your opinion, but really takes it to heart and factors it into his decisions, take it as a great sign.

  10. He loves when you get physical with him:No, I don’t just mean sexually (though, no guy will complain about the woman in his life initiating sex); I’m referring to the little things — the random hugs, the random kisses on his cheek, the random hand on his knee while you’re sitting next to him, or the arm around him while you’re walking. These are things that, dare I say, are more intimate than sex. Any two people who are attracted to each other can have sex, but the smaller physical gestures are things you only do with someone you really care about. They’re things that literally connect the two of you together. They’re things that combine your energy and make “you and me” into “us.”

  11. He loves looking into your eyes: Looking into another person’s eyes can be a little awkward. You’re not really sure where to look, which eye to look at, or maybe you should just look at the bridge of their nose. But not with you. The awkwardness dissipates and is replaced by excitement. It’s replaced by hope. It’s replaced by love — a love that can only grow between two people who open the windows to their souls and allow one to reach through embrace the other. A calm serenity that makes you want to hold your gaze, not turn away.

  12. He loves seeing you in a unique/sexy lingerie: Men love sexy, lacy, frilly  lingerie  so  be sure  to  always have  a  set at hand for emergencies *wink*.  Your favourite lingerie should not only look  good for him and feel good  for you, helping you boost your confidence.  The more it looks like something they might see a model wearing,  the more he’s going to want you to wear it.

10 Easy To Miss Signs He’ll Never Commit

January 23, 2014 ‐ By Julia Austin

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There are the obvious signs you’re being strung along, like he’s dating somebody else, he only calls you to hang out at 2 am and he’s never introduced you to any of his friends. But some signs that a man will never commit aren’t so obvious—in fact, women will make excuses, saying the behavior is normal.

HE NEVER GETS JEALOUS

If you get drunk and pass out in your male friend’s bed, your boyfriend doesn’t bat an eyelash. If you sit on another guy’s lap at a party, your guy doesn’t care. If you’re at the office late alone, working on a project with a cute male coworker, your guy doesn’t complain one bit.

WHY YOU IGNORE IT

Of course you ignore it! It’s awesome to have a boyfriend who is so NOT controlling. But the truth is, if a guy is in love with you, he doesn’t want you sitting on other guys’ laps. But if he has no plans to commit, he isn’t going to start a fuss over it because that sends you the impression he cares more than he does.

HE IS RIGID ABOUT HIS SCHEDULE

If he said he was going to come over, but his meeting got out just an hour later than he’d expected, he says he wants to go home instead because it’s getting late and he needs his sleep. If you’re in his neighborhood by chance and ask to stop by, he says he was about to go to the gym and doesn’t want to miss a workout.

WHY YOU IGNORE IT

You want to be “understanding” and “chill” and hey, you get it: sleep is important and exercise is important! But come on! If a guy plans on making you a real part of his life, he understands he

HE DOESN’T INVITE YOU, WHEN OTHER GIRLFRIENDS WENT

He goes to a friend’s birthday party and doesn’t invite you. You find out later other girlfriends were there.

WHY YOU IGNORE IT

You get it: sometimes he just wants time with his friends without you. You don’t want to be clingy–he doesn’t have to invite you everywhere. But hold up: if other girlfriends were there, he should have invited you. If he planned on keeping you around, he’d realize it was embarrassing for you to clearly not be invited when plus ones were welcome.

HE HAS A LOT OF ACTIVITIES HE KEEPS TO HIMSELF

He’s never taken you to one of his basketball games, or to his chess group, or to the Sunday brunch meet-up group he’s a part of. There are a lot of regular activities he does that you’re never included in.

WHY YOU IGNORE IT

You tell yourself that it’s healthy to have activities all to yourself—it helps a person maintain their individual identity inside of a relationship. But, a guy can still share his hobbies with you a little bit without losing his identity. If he absolutely refuses to share them with you, it could be because he doesn’t plan on being with you forever, and doesn’t want you infiltrating those areas of his life.

HE WON’T FIGHT WITH YOU

You could be screaming at him, insulting him or bawling your eyes out and he remains quiet, or just agrees with everything you say, or leaves saying, “Let me know when you’ve calmed down.”

WHY YOU IGNORE IT

You say maybe he just doesn’t want to fight because he feels it drives you two apart. But, a guy who plans on being with you for the long haul cares a lot about what you think about him, and how he makes you feel! He would never let you criticize him without defending himself, and he would never watch you cry without wanting to fix it. Meanwhile, a guy who doesn’t plan on sticking around won’t exert any energy into fighting.

HE WON’T ACCEPT HELP FROM YOUR FAMILY

Your parents have offered to introduce your boyfriend to their broker, their real estate agent, professional contacts they think would be great for him or a friend who has a vacation house he could stay in. But he always turns them down.

WHY YOU IGNORE IT

You tell yourself he is just very independent and is uncomfortable accepting help. You tell yourself he doesn’t want to be a bother to your parents. In reality, he probably feels guilty having people go out of their way for him, when he knows pretty soon those people won’t even be in his life.

HE TELLS YOU HE’S MADE BIG DECISIONS; HE DOESN’T ASK YOU

He tells you he’s going to travel around the world for three months, or that he’s quit his job, or that he is moving apartments next week. He doesn’t ask for your input.

WHY YOU IGNORE IT

You want to be the “cool” girlfriend so you just tell yourself, “I’m not his boss! He’s a grown man! Good for him that he’s traveling for three months…! He can go find himself and learn new things…!” Oh please. Because you won’t admit it to yourself I’ll say it for you: a man should want to bring you on that trip for three months or at the very, very least, want to discuss it with you to make sure he wouldn’t be missing any big events in your life, or to give you the option to say, “I’ll miss you so much! Can’t you just make it two months?” And he should want your opinion on the apartment he’s moving into if he plans on you spending tons of time there! It’s not too much for you to ask to be included in these decisions.

HE WANDERS OFF AT SOCIAL EVENTS

When you go to parties or events together, you find yourself alone for most of the time. He’ll pass by you with a drink and plate of food, but he never offered to get you one. He’ll wave at you from a circle of people, but won’t wave you over.

WHY YOU IGNORE IT

You say to yourself, “It’s good we’re not one of those couples attached at the hip! I’m happy we’re not one of those annoying couples who is afraid to socialize without the other one.” Okay, yeah…but even the “cool” couples check in with one another. Even in the “independent” couples the guy never goes to the bar without offering to get his girlfriend something. But, if in your guy’s head he is unattached (or soon to be), he’s curious about meeting tons of people without you at parties.

HE’S PUSHY ABOUT SEX

He won’t accept it when you say you’re tired or just not in the mood. He acts like an indignant college boy, continuing to bother you while you try to sleep, and even getting noticeably annoyed that you won’t have sex with him.

WHY YOU IGNORE IT

You say, “Oh, he’s just a guy! They’re animals! They’re all like that!” UM…that’s not just being an “animal.” That’s almost sexual molestation. You should be able to sleep in peace. A guy who plans on being with you for a long time can let a few nights without sex go by because he knows there will be plenty of time for that in the future. But a guy who sees an expiration date on this relationship wants to get in all the free play he can, before he’s out hunting at bars again.

HE HAS EXCUSES NOT TO DO YOU FAVORS

Any time you’ve asked him for a ride to the airport, or to stop by your house and feed your dog because your meeting was running late, or to pick up your prescription because the pharmacy was about to close and you were stuck in traffic, he had an excuse not to.

WHY YOU IGNORE IT

You tell yourself, “I’m a grown woman. I should do those things myself. I shouldn’t be depending on a man anyways.” Accepting help does not mean you’re depending on somebody! And if you think of it, there have probably been dozens of times he’s asked you to do him a favor, and you’ve done it even though you had better reasons not to, than the reasons he’s giving you. When you care about someone, you don’t find excuses: you find a way.

See more at: MadameNoire